Ready for Some (College) Football?

Fall arrived here in Michigan, at exactly 7:38 pm last Sunday. Just like that, the temperature dropped and the sky turned sullen. I guess Mother Nature is a football fan and she just wanted to set the scene for a new season.

I've been a football fan for many years but, unlike the average American who lives and dies with the local pro team, I'm a fan of the college game. One reason is the local teams I had to endure. As a kid living in New Jersey, I was traumatized by the God-awful New York Giants of the Allie Sherman era. And, as an adult living in southeast Michigan, I've been subjected to the endless soap opera called the Detroit "Lions."

Another reason is that the colleges I attended had damn good football programs. I spent four years at Notre Dame during the "Era of Ara", then moved on to Michigan at a time when the Bo-versus-Woody rivalry was at its most intense.

There's more below the 50-yard line...

I've had season tickets for most of my adult life (though I came down with a case of sticker shock when the cost of a Michigan ticket, factoring in the personal seat license, topped $100). I've also done my share of traveling to games, including every stadium in the Big Ten and all of the big bowl games.

Yup, I've misspent that much time and money, and all I brought home were these lousy memories:

Most memorable game. Ohio State-Michigan, 1973. The hype started before Labor Day and built up from there. The game ended up a 10-10 tie, and the tie-breaker to decide who would go to the Rose Bowl was a vote of the conference's athletic directors, who voted to send the Buckeyes. College football's version of Bush v. Gore.

Best place to tailgate. The Rose Bowl. Free parking, plenty of room to spread out, no scalping laws, and abundant sunshine.

Best town for night-before-game partying. Austin. Who am I to argue with the august Princeton Review, which ranked Texas the nation's number-one party school?

Game I wish I'd seen in person. Nebraska-Oklahoma, 1971.

Classiest fans. Penn State. I can almost forgive Joe Paterno for being a Bush supporter.

Favorite mascot. The Humane Society will crucify me for this, but I love live animals: Ralphie the buffalo (Colorado), Bevo the longhorn (Texas, of course), and the Air Force falcon.

Best concession stand item. The chicken with 40 cloves of garlic sandwich at Stanford Stadium.

Worst stadium. The Orange Bowl. Rickety, uncomfortable, and a parking nightmare.

Best pep rallies. Notre Dame. One of the local TV stations is owned by the university, and it's been known to broadcast rallies live, complete with floor reporters like at a political convention.

Announcer whom I'd like to serve a pint of STFU to. Burnt Mushbuger Brent Musberger.

Drunkest crowd. The Superdome, home of the Sugar Bowl. When I was there, fans had their choice of 96 drink vendors selling everything from buckets of Coors to frozen daiquiris. Now I understand how locals put up with the Saints.

Coach I most like to see lose. Bobby Bowden, Florida State. The Bowdens are college football's answer to the Bush family.

Best time and place to watch a game. Camp Randall Stadium, Wisconsin, in the upper deck, during fall color season.

Ugliest uniforms. The University of Oregon. Is Earl Scheib the equipment manager there?

Least deserving national champion. Brigham Young, 1984. Dishonorable mention goes to Colorado, 1990.

Game you had to see to believe. Northern Illinois-Eastern Michigan, 1978. Until I actually saw a scoreless tie, I had no idea how much bad football was required to produce one. It was an evening of dropped passes, big plays called back by penalties, key turnovers, and missed field goals.

Got rants, predictions, trash talk, memories, or thoughts about college football? Let's hear 'em!