CNN-Wolf Blitzer is Animatronic

If you're not already, you should be reading James Wolcott everyday.  Here's why:

CNN Admits It Cannot Prove Authenticity of Wolf Blitzer
Posted by James Wolcott

In a shock announcement that will reverberate through broadcast journalism, CNN has acknowledged that it can no longer vouch for the authenticity of host Wolf Blitzer.

After months of being buffeted by accusations and speculation, CNN subjected Blitzer to a series of forensic tests over the weekend and determined that his beard is a polyfiber synthetic and his lack of affect was attributable to a defective chip insecurely fitted into his fliptop head.

"Though we regret learning Wolf Blitzer is animatronic," said CNN chief Bip Peterson, "this in no way undermines the integrity of the journalism he did for the network, or CNN's commitment to the reelection of George Bush."

Speculation now turns to CNN's Judy Woodruff, rumored for years to be a stick-figure pictogram, despite fierce denials from colleagues who claim to have ridden the elevator with her.

"Judy, Wolf, Larry King--none of them are real," says a former intern at the network who still has nightmares.

http://www.jameswolcott.com

•  nice, I'll have to check him out...

  OT but related, the question of the day on CNN's American Morning yesterday was "what does John Kery have to do to regain momentum," or words to that effect. my reply (which I don't think was read on the air) is below:
  
  "Kerry needs to convince the American news media to DO ITS JOB and truly level the playing field, instead of turning a blind eye to the failures and incompetence of the Bush admin. When GOP leaders are given air time to slander Kerry with impunity (e.g., Hastert's apparent poll of al Qaeda last weekend), when news anchors serve as parrots for GOP talking points (at CNN, this includes Blitzer, Kagan, and Woodruff), when Gallup poll results are trumpeted without noting that they intentionally oversampled Republicans, the informed viewer begins to wonder whether a network is intent on reporting the news or influencing the news and our election this November."

  by humbucker on Tue Sep 21, 2004 at 08:01:29 AM PDT

  •  Excellent E-Mail!

    Everything about this election has been Orwellian to the point of parody!  If it weren't so fucking tragic and dangerous, I would be laughing my ass off.  It's all so ridiculous.  You couldn't write this screenplay without getting laughed off the lot.

    OT, I'm watching GWB at the UN right now.  Except for it's complete detachment from reality, it's a pretty good speech.

    by Baseballgirl on Tue Sep 21, 2004 at 08:22:03 AM PDT